Marriage Sex Divorce and Remarriage p. g

v. 2 So do you understand sisters that even if you are in a multiple wife union and your husband has more than one wife, that that’s still your own husband. He still belongs to you. Just like he belongs to the second wife, the third wife that’s still individually your own husband. So it’s not like they are taking anything away. You still have to love your husband and he still has to love you. I constantly keep going over this because Yah is giving me greater understanding.

Many of you out there are struggling and you should not be struggling. You may have 2 children, no husband. You have to pay for daycare. You have to struggle between 2 jobs. You hardly have enough time to study the Word of Yah and it’s just a struggle for you right now. Just imagine if you were in a multiple marriage. And you had a husband and he had another wife and that wife is loving your children as her own. And now you don’t have to work all these jobs. Now you don’t have to pay the daycare. Because now you are in an extended family and family provides and protects family. Now it’s not you alone. Now you are apart of the bigger picture. Now your world is starting to look more brighter and more blessed. Now you have time to study the Word of Yah. Do you see? Because we are always trying to do things all alone, by ourselves. Because we have been taught in this independent society to do so.

They look down upon us when we have our extended family, where grandma is still living at home. That’s why when the Gentiles…hey when that certain person, grandma or grandpa gets a certain age, ma and pops are going into a home. If you go into these old folks homes, they are FILLED with Gentiles. They throw theirs aside. NOT US! Because we understood this; with slavery we were all we had. We had to rely on one another. We had to look out for each other and that carried on down the centuries to where we are today. We understand extended families. And we do understand that when we do have extended families that it is a help to us. Like I said you probably live with grandma. Grandma is home so grandma can watch the kids while you are at work.

That’s just showing you the extended family. So we should not frown down upon that because we don’t understand it or because we don’t see in the eyes of the Gentiles. We don’t see it like they do. So now we think that it’s something wicked, evil or something not right. You can’t get with it. Oh you all angry, you want your own man. You see your sister out there struggling and she needs a covering, she needs a man. And she’s trying to strive to Yah too. She’s a good woman. She has a good heart. She will fit into your family perfect and you know this.

But because of your arrogance, because of your heart, you haven’t cleansed your heart yet. What will you do out there in the wilderness? Many of us will not share a cup of  water with our brother. Many of us will not share a plate of food with our brother. But what will you do out there in the wilderness if you are so blessed to make it? When you have to eat one pot of food and all of y’all have to dig in and eat together. What will you do then? Are you going to sit there and starve because you don’t want to put your hand in the same pot your brother just put his hand in? All type of silliness. Ysrayl we have a ways to go. Yeah, we have the knowledge but the zeal and even the faith, oh we are lacking in that department as a redeemed nation. So let’s look at this, 1 Corinthians chapter 7.

v. 3 Now he said it is not good for a man to touch a woman meaning don’t touch her to do whoring (fornication) without the bond of a covenant. And definitely don’t touch you in the form of adultery and then he said let each one have his own wife and let each woman have her own husband. That’s no speaking against multiple marriage. That’s just saying hey have your wife and have your husband. That’s what he is talking about. Go ahead and sign that contract, that marriage contract. Woman get a husband, man get a wife let each one have his one that is what he is talking about. Instead of touching them without the marriage contract…without fornicating. Get a wife, get a husband. This is not speaking against multiple marriage as people try to make it seem.

v. 4 So do you see, he is saying coming together in that oneness. The two becoming one flesh this is what he is explaining here. He’s saying it like this, that when you are in that marriage, that you are now owned by your husband. And husband you are now owed by your wife. It’s almost like a slave-master type thing but he is saying you are in bondage to one another. So that oneness that you are coming together on and the wife does not own her own body, the husband does not have authority over his own body but the wife does. So Shaul is going to explain to you what he is talking about in v. 5.

v. 5 So this is what he is talking about right here. When he says that the wife doesn’t own her own body the husband does and the husband does not own his body but the wife does. Do not deprive one another of sex. So if the man wants sex from a woman, hey give it to him. He owns your body. If the woman wants sex from her husband, give it to her, she owns your body. This is what he is saying. Don’t deprive one another except with agreement for a time.

So if y’all agree on not having sex this week or that night, y’all agree on that. But don’t let it be where the man constantly wants sex and the wife doesn’t give it to him. Or the wife constantly wants sex and the man does not give it to her because then the adversary come in. He said ‘so satan does not tempt you’. So satan will come in because (one or the other) is quote-unquote horny. The man is horny because his wife is not giving him sex. So now he is going to go out and search for anything. Satan is going to come in and tempt him. It is because of your lack of self-control because without self-control you can’t control your loins. Because now they are heated. Now you have to take a cold shower everyday. But he is saying don’t cause that to come into your marriage. So if you are married don’t deprive your spouse of sex. You should not. If you have a headache take an aspirin, rest for 2 hours…get to it.

Because if you are constantly depriving them of what is natural in this relationship or union, then they will go out and get it elsewhere. Many of you sisters have denied your husbands. Then when he talks about a second wife and doing something in a righteous manner, now you want to cry about it. Now you boo-hoo cry now my husband wants a second…so what you shouldn’t have done what you did. You do what you are supposed to do woman. You do what you are supposed to do man. If you are doing your job and the other is lacking hey there’s going to be a problem there.

If a man…satan will come in because he has a lack of self-control. Like I said Yah never spoke out against multiple marriages. In fact, as I stated our nation was birthed from 4 women. By our father Jacob 2 wives and his 2 concubines, so Yah allowed it to happen and the great men of Yah…Dawid had multiple wives. You know Solomon did. So her this is what Shaul is speaking about. Don’t deprive one another except with agreement for a time. He said just agreement for a time. Don’t keep it like that saying we will never have sex. Sex is apart of your marriage. If you are not having sex to your liking, well that’s where you have to communicate to your partner. You have to be real about it. You have to tell them your likes and dislikes. What’s good and what’s not good to you. That’s the only way you will solve that problem. But don’t get divorced based on that.

That, you can work out because when you get married hey Yah wants you to be married you know for a lifetime, if possible. If you are in a true marriage, there’s no doubt about that He wants you to be married for a lifetime, if you are in that marriage where the two have become one. So you have a long time to work those things out but you have to communicate. You have to come to an agreement. So don’t deprive one another.

I believe when we see these marriages in Hollywood and just marriages in general when a divorce happens and they say that the marriage has ended because of irreconcilable differences, I bet that has something to do with sex. Most of time, not all of the time. But I’m pretty sure most of the time, that’s what it is. So we have to be patient. If there are problems in the marriage dealing with sex y’all have to work that out yourself. Sex is more mental than it is physical. You may not be having a good time with sex in your marriage because you haven’t mentally gotten there yet. You have to mentally love that partner first then it will  manifest to physical. Everything starts in the spiritual first. For us humans everything starts in the mind then it manifests into the physical. So don’t deprive one another. Your body belongs to your husband, and husband your body belongs to your wife.

v. 6-9 Read. So he is saying remain as I. What was he? He was unmarried. He was celibate. And what he’s speaking about is that it’s best that they remain unmarried for the sake of the work. (Reads v. 8 again). So sometimes there may be situations where it is not fit for you to be married because of the work of Yah. Because you won’t have time to spend with the family, you will always be doing the work of Yah. So Shaul said it’s even good if you’re not married and then you don’t need all that extra stress and problems that can come with marriage especially in a marriage where you’re not on the same page with the person. That can cause a lot of added stress.

But Shaul is saying hey if you don’t have self-control, you can’t control your loins and you need to have sex, then get married. Because sex is lawful in marriage. He said it is better to marry then to burn. Burn where? Burn in the lake of fire. It is better to go ahead and get married than to go out her and commit adultery. Remember Hebrews 13:4 says Yah hates whores and adulterers. He will judge them. So Shaul is saying if you need to be married, if you can’t control yourself, you can’t control those hormones  and urges…get married.

v. 10 He is saying a wife shall not be put away. v. 11 But if she is put away let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband and a husband is not to send her away. Do you see that? ‘Send away’ is the third part of divorce. First is putting her away or separation. Next is giving her a certificate of divorce and third is sending her away out of your house. The marriage is over at that point.

(Reads v. 11 again). A woman who has been put away only has two options: She can remain unmarried because if she marries another without getting that certificate of divorce then she is committing adultery. So right her he is just telling you if she is put away, separated let her remain unmarried or be restored to favor with her husband. She has to remain unmarried because she is not divorced. She has not received that certificate of divorce so she has to remain unmarried or she can reconcile with her husband. That’s the only 2 options that she has.

It says let not a husband send away his wife. It said let him not fully divorce her. See, you don’t want to divorce your wife for anything. If you get a divorce brothers and sisters let it be because your unequally yoked. Don’t let it be because this woman is serving Yah but she can’t keep a clean house or she can’t cook. Don’t divorce her for that reason. You can work on those things. If this woman is serving Yah, if you get a divorce, you want to nullify that covenant because she not serving Yah or if he’s not serving Yah. You want to be in a true marriage which is the 2 becoming one but you can’t do that with 2 different opinions.

v. 12 So brothers if you have an unbelieving wife, you’re a believer and she’s an unbeliever and if she thinks well to stay with you even though she’s an unbeliever. If she says she can put up with not eating pork. If she can put up with you serving Yah on the Shabbat then hey it’s okay just let her stay with you if she can put up with all that. But you may not want that. This is just Shaul’s advice right here.

v. 13 So do you see? Send away means the final part of divorce. So Shaul said let not man send her away and let not the woman send him away. So sending him away is the final part of divorce, that’s showing us that the woman also had the power to send away the man. This is Shaul explaining. This is his opinion. He said, if that unbelieving man wants to stay with that sister and he can put up with her serving and worshipping Yah, then that is cool but don’t send him away. He’s not talking about shooing him away, he’s talking about divorce. Sending away is the final part of divorce.

v. 14 Now this is not saying hey because you are an unbeliever and you live with a person that’s believing that now your sins are forgiven and you can come into the kingdom and all that. No, it is not saying that. What it’s saying is that because you have that one believer in the midst of that unbeliever that Yah’s wrath will not come down upon that household. Remember when Yah sent those angels to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah and they stopped by Abraham’s place first and they hung out with Abraham. As Abraham was interceding on behalf of the city of Sodom, he said if You find 10 righteous there will you not destroy the city?

Yah said if there are 10 righteous then that whole city I will not destroy it. Because Yah shows favor to the righteous. He hears the prayers of the righteous. This is what this is talking about is that for the unbelieving husband has been set-apart in the wife and the unbelieving wife has been set-apart in the husband. So that set-apartness is this: that, that household, the wife the children will be protected because there is a believer there.

Yah will have mercy upon that household because there is a believer and that believer belongs to Yah. It’s not saying that, that unbeliever will be counted as a righteous person and go into the kingdom. Naw. They are responsible for their own sins. But because that believer is there, Yah’s wrath will stay away from that household and even on that unbeliever. But if that one believer sends away that unbeliever, then that unbeliever is on his on. Yah’s mercy is no longer looking upon them. The only reason Yah’s mercy is looking upon them is because they are in the midst of that believer. So this is what Shaul is talking about.

v. 15 So if they want to separate, let them go. He said Yah has called us to peace so we should not be arguing and fussing and fighting. We seek shalom. Shalom is our first option. Peace is our first option.

v. 16 So this is why Shaul is giving this advice to let them stay around because you may bring them to Yah. There may be something that they see in you and it makes them want to come to Yah. So this is why Shaul is saying let them stay if it does them well. Because you may save them. You don’t know. (Reads v. 16 again). So that’s what he’s talking about there. Not that an unbeliever…because he has a believing wife that he can eat pork, go out and fornicate and all that stuff and won’t be held accountable. No, not at all. It’s just for that household. And when he is separated and gone…Yah’s mercy, light is not going to shine to kindly upon him now.

So if you are in a household right now with unbelievers whether you have roommates, whether you stay with parents, whether you have a spouse. If you have that situation going on now, the reason Yah has not brought great wrath down upon that household and you may say man they are doing some wicked stuff. They are in here having parties and doing this and that in the midst and Yah’s protecting the (house) because you are there.

When you leave from the midst of that, when you leave that roommate or if you get out of the midst of that spouse or out of the  midst of your parents, wherever you are in the midst of that and you leave it…psst. Everything that they have been doing wrong oh man it’s going to start to come down now because there’s no believer there.

Just like Yah did with Sodom, Yah could not find 5 righteous people. Lot and his family made four and they were the ones that were saved. And speaking about that this just came to my mind, Yah just took me here right now since we were talking about Lot, I should have said this in the first part. This is about marriage and sex. Remember Lot, Abraham’s nephew who stayed in Sodom and those two angels came to destroy Sodom and they wanted to get Lot and his family out of there. I will read Genesis chapter 19, when those men came to Sodom and all the people in the town came and tried to break down Lot’s door to get to those 2 men.

Lot pleaded with these people not to try to come in and have sex with these angels. Lot did not know that they were angels at that time but the people did. The people knew who they were. So they came and wanted to have sex with these angels. They thought they were the fallen angels which the people were use to having sex with. So look at what it says.

Genesis 19:8 So Lot said he had 2 daughters who were virgins. Now, Lot said he had 2 daughters that had not known men but look at this in verse 14.

Genesis 19:14 Wait it said Lot had son-in-laws who had married his daughters but verse 8 said that he had 2 daughters that had not  known man. So these men were married to Lot’s daughters and they had not had sex with them yet they were engaged to them. That engagement is like a marriage. I’m just showing that to give another reference point that sex is not marriage but sex is apart of marriage.

So we see Lot’s 2 daughters were virgins yet they were married. That means they were engaged to these men. The engagement is the first step of marriage.


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